Review by Tim Robins
Wealthy businessman Zsa-zsa Korda appoints his only daughter, a nun, as sole heir to his estate. As Korda embarks on a new enterprise, they soon become the target of scheming tycoons, foreign terrorists and determined assassins.
SPOILERS AHEAD
The Phoenician Scheme is, above all else, a Wes Anderson movie. The Director’s amusingly mannered style is out in force here. This includes immaculately manicured sets and rushed, staccato dialogue, in which characters almost compulsively announce their back stories, feelings and function in the plot.
The film is a comedy spy adventure, whose humour comes from its exaggerated seriousness. It recalls escapades of Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, and Dorothy Lamours’ “Road” movies and even the globe trotting “Carry On” films. For me, The Phoenician Scheme particularly recalled the TinTin adventures if they were adapted as a Sixties’ TV thriller starring Patrick McGoohan. It is certainly a “Calculated Affair.”
The plot follows Sister Liesl, a would-be Catholic Nun, who is made the sole heir, on a trial basis, of her imputed father, the industrialist Anatole Zsa-Zsa Korda. Korda, who has not seen his daughter in six years, may or may not have murdered Liesl’s mother, and is himself a target for assassins.
Liesl is played with due solemnity and wild decision making by Mia Threapelton, the daughter of Kate Winslet, while Benicio del Toro plays Korda. The role was written for him and he seizes it with great gusto.
The film opens with another attempt on Korda’s life – his plane explodes, depositing him in a field of wheat. The various attempts to kill Korda whilst he’s flying on a plane are a running joke in the film.
The Phoenician Scheme is helpfully structured around an on-screen checklist of financial backers, who Korda hopes to swindle, while needing their help to cover “the gap”, a financial shortfall in Korda’s plans to industrialise and exploit a Middle Eastern Country.
Meanwhile, Korda has dreams in which he is being tried in a Heavenly court. Cue a brief appearance of Bill Murray as God. Back on Earth, Korda narrowly avoids arrows shot from on high, as if Cupid is targeting him. It turns out they are actually fired by one of Korda’s nine adopted sons.
It’s all very droll, although you may struggle to remain interested. A friend of mine fell asleep during a “Relaxed” screening at the local picture house, but then they were suffering from jet lag. The actors held my attention, each one injecting a new source of utter nonsense. All of this leads to “Uncle Nabu”, whose villainy is foreshadowed from the start. (Enter Benedict Cumberbatch, whose deep bass-note tones are not at all disguised behind his bizarre wig and eyebrows).
Into the Father and Daughter triangle comes an entomologist, played by Michael Cera as “Bjørn,” employed by Korda to tutor him on the ways of insects, but who has his own, secret motives. These include plans to marry Liesl – but is this true love, or more industrial sabotage?
After the three characters end up in the middle of a jungle, thanks to another bomb on another plane, they become reconciled to their rickety relationship. We know they are reconciled, because they are all smoking tobacco. (Liesl’s distinctive, bejewelled pipe was, by the way, created by Dunhill).
Next, Bjørn saves Korda, who has fallen neck deep in quicksand, because falling neck deep into quicksand is what happens in jungle adventures. Anderson is as steeped in the nostalgia of Hollywood movies as the films Quentin Tarantino, the exception being that Anderson is tidier.
As the film progresses, Liesal’s personal journey away from The Church is suggested by steps such as smoking, drinking and accepting jewellery, including a “secular” rosary of precious gems. There are plenty of sight gags.
When Korda finally reveals his plans for the Eastern Country, it is in the form of a grey model, part train set, with a dam above which Korda’s name spelt out, with theatrical lighting. For me, this scene evoked a memory of the late Sir Alexander Korda the director, screenwriter, producer and founder of his own studio, London Films who went on to own the film distributors British Lion Films. I can’t honestly say that this reference was Anderson’s intention.
The lack of meaning turns everything into free floating signifiers. What does the fact Bjørn is an entomologist supposed to suggest? That he treats people like insects? Not really. What are we to make of Korda’s habit of handing out hand grenades as gifts to everyone he meets? And does Liesl’s name suggest that she is deceitful? Maybe. Only Anderson and Roma Coppola, who helped out on the story, know for sure. Even then, they might not.
For some of the time, I thought Korda could be a satire on Donald Trump, but the film soon moves on from that. The Phoenician Scheme proves a restless, somewhat relentless movie, but at least there’s always something to enjoy – whether that be its colour scheme (the interior of Korda’s planes are decorated in beige and swatches of red) or the dialogue, (“I’m not leaving the room so you can hand grenade yourself as a business strategy,” Korda is chastised).
The ultimate irony is that the titular scheme fails at every turn. Still, you might plan to go see it. Just expect exactly what you expected.
Tim Robins
The Phoenician Scheme is in cinemas now
Dear reader, a review is an opinion. Other opinions are available, including yours
Head downthetubes to…
• GQ: How The Phoenician Scheme’s bejewelled pipe became a main character
• Festival de Cannes: The Phoenician Scheme: a father-daughter duo on a spy mission, by Wes Anderson
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John is the founder of downthetubes, launched in 1998. He is a comics and magazine editor, writer, and Press Officer for the Lakes International Comic Art Festival. He also runs Crucible Comic Press.
Working in British comics publishing since the 1980s, his credits include editor of titles such as Doctor Who Magazine and Overkill for Marvel UK, Babylon 5 Magazine, Star Trek Magazine, and its successor, Star Trek Explorer, and more. He also edited the comics anthology STRIP Magazine and edited several audio comics for ROK Comics; and has edited several comic collections and graphic novels, including volumes of “Charley’s War” and “Dan Dare”, and Hancock: The Lad Himself, by Stephen Walsh and Keith Page.
He’s the writer of comics such as Pilgrim: Secrets and Lies for B7 Comics; “Crucible”, a creator-owned project with 2000AD artist Smuzz; and “Death Duty” and “Skow Dogs”, with Dave Hailwood.
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